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i am parent.
i have regularly commented on the awesomeness of my kids, and i love them so dearly that it hurts!
i remember the first day of Josh's school life. it is an experience burned deeply into my brain, and i will never forget that face or that day.
darryl had gone to school or work (he was doing both at the time) and i walked Josh to school, for his first day of JK. Emilie was 2 1/2 and Josh was not quite 4 years old, and i was pregnant with Cameron. i threw Em in the stroller, and we made our way to the school down the street. Josh had been excited about the new adventure he was embarking on, and i was thrilled at the thought of getting rid of one kid for a few hours a day! LOL!
i had been so sick with my pregnancy (i threw up for 9 mths straight and only gained 1 pound. yep..... sick) and i was looking forward to a small break and a bot less chaos. both my kids were angels, but 2 toddlers is well..... more work than 1 !
we took Josh into the classroom, and i made sure that he was feeling ok about it. all seemed well at the time.
i took a few steps towards the door to leave (since i'm not a clingy parent that needs to sit through the first 3 days of school with my kids to make sure that the teacher isn't a mass murderer or something) and Josh had a FIT!
the teacher encouraged me to leave quickly, since staying would make it worse i guess, and i remember that face and those tears. Josh stood at the doorway screaming "mommy don't leave me, don't leave me!!!"
i thought in that very moment that i was going to die. at that very moment i didn't care if 2 toddlers were too much work and i was sick, i just wanted to scoop my baby up and take him home with me! i felt like the worst mother in the world, leaving my baby in the care of strangers for 3 hours a day! he was screaming and crying, and i wanted to hold him and make it all better.
i walked away from that school, pushing the stroller back home, just sobbing my brains out. Emilie could care less, and was actually mad that i wasn't leaving her at the school too!
i cried all the way home that day, and then was a wreck the rest of the morning.
when i arrived back at the school to pick Josh up, he was happy as a clam! the teacher said that once i was out of sight, that the crying had stopped and he was good as gold the rest of the morning. i got the best hug that day, and Josh showed me his awesome artwork that he had made. he was also proud of the way he was learning to write his name, since the kids had to sign themselves in everyday.
the next day Josh cried again, and so did i , but that was the last time. his school years had begun.
today is the end of an era.
Josh is at school right now, writting his grade 12 biology exam (i've raised my kids to be science nerds).
this exam is the last high school exam that he will ever write, and therefore it's his last day in high school.
EVER!
Josh heads off to the Laurier University in the fall, for cello performance.
as much as i am excited about this new chapter in his life (much like i was when he started JK many years ago), i know that i will drop him off at school in september and i will cry all the way home because i will know that i won't be going back in 3 hrs to pick him up and get the best hug ever. he will be living 3 hours away from his family and starting his own life.
where's the valium?!
this kid has stolen my heart!
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Comments
What a sweet story...made me all teary! I can tell he's lucky to have you for a mom. (^_^)
(06.22.09)